My computers

These are the computers that I have known.

My first was a Zenith 425L sub-notebook. This was early in the transition from laptop to notebook. Mine was smaller than a notebook so it was called a sub-notebook. Gosh, I loved this machine. It was with me through much of my university education. I bought it some time during my second year in university and it ran Windows 3.1. It worked like a charm. I was able to take notes and print them off. It was small and compact and very eye-catching, especially because I was in the English department. Alas, this little guy died a long time ago and he's been put in the recycling bin so I've had to borrow an image from some guy on the internet.

My second computer was a generic desktop that my brother bought for me. I ran a 586 at the time. Then it was upgraded. This wasn't my choice of my computer, but a gift from my brother. It did its job and helped me connect to the internet when needed to work on school projects and other things.

About 2 years after I got the generic desktop, I was working on a second degree and bought an iBook.



And so began my love-hate relationship with mac's. I bought the computer at first because I heard that mac's run more stable. While I was in my operating systems course, I found that the mac os wasn't set up very well. I also found out that the OS really isn't stable at all. So I loved the look of the iBook, but I found that I couldn't do much with it. The programs that I needed to run weren't available on the mac OS so most of my school work was done on my generic PC. The iBook was still there for when I needed to pack something in my bag and I still spent most of my spare time on it, but the majority of my time was spent on my PC.

Then I got a job and again, found myself on the PC more than on my iBook. I upgraded the PC's various parts. I upgraded the memory and the CPU. At some point, I upgraded the mother board. It grew with me. Mac OSX had come out, but my iBook was so slow that it couldn't keep up, so OSX wasn't useable.

I used my PC for a number of years, but it wasn't fun. It was okay, but it lacked personality. I guess I always liked laptops and always wanted to be able to carry my computer around with me. So I bought a macbook.



It was love for about 2 years. And the the screen began to flicker every now and again. Then the screen began to flicker more regularly. My husband was nice enough to take the whole thing apart and replace one of the parts, but I had my concerns. I wanted a computer that I'd keep forever and forever, and this was not it. So I sold it. It was the first computer that I sold.

After I was done with the Zenith, my brother installed Linux on it and used for demonstrations in the math classes that he taught. He continued to do that until my cousin dropped the computer and broke the hinge. After that, the computer had to be handled very gingerly. The PC was given away to a girl that my brother knew who needed a computer. I had my macbook at the time so I was more than happy to part with it. The iBook was intended for use by my kids, until my sister spilled coffee on it. I should ask for the computer back, for sentimental reasons. And my son will likely enjoy taking the computer apart in a couple of years.. as soon as he's better able to control a screw driver.



To replace the macbook, I decided (against better judgment) to buy a Dell Inspirion 1525. It was okay. I could have used it, but my sister said that she was considering buying a computer, so I gave her mine. I was using the computer that's been lent to me by work. She took the computer for about 1 1/2 years. Then she returned a used computer to me. When I gave her the computer, it was barely a month old and I kept very good care of it. When it was returned, the battery would die 30 minutes after being unplugged. The trackpad key was discoloured and there was trouble typing certain keys. I eat while at the computer, but I've never managed to get my keys stuck like that.

.. and so here we are. I've still got the Dell. I won't buy another dell in my life. They're cheap little machines. Not as cheap as Acer's, but still pretty cheap. Then again, my work computer is a dell and it's holding up quite well. I guess the Inspirion is their low end, consumer line and that's the line that I wouldn't buy. However, if I were going to buy their higher end products, I'd rather just buy a mac. The Dell is used purely for its ability to VPN into work. It saves me from lugging my work computer around if I need to do a little bit of work.



And last weekend, I picked up my Samsung N130. It was released a few weeks ago with Windows 7. The 6.5-ish hour battery life was appealing. The keyboard is quite nice and there's only one key that's bizarre, but a minor nuisance when compared to the other netbooks out there. The screen is okay.. It's my typewriter and I can't see it replacing a "real" computer. I've got time-share with a macbook. That's where I keep my photos and my other "serious" stuff. This computer is for minor internet surfing and for writing.

I expect to keep this computer until my kids get a bit older and I'll pass it on to them to play with and destroy at their leisure. The Dell, I'll keep as my alternate work computer. It's not a computer that I enjoy spending time on, but it's practical and that's enough reason to justify its existence.

Hot yoga and other news

It's been busy since I've returned to work. The kids are growing more each day. Last week, my 2 1/2 year old went an entire day without diapers. It's quite the feat for someone who showed no interests in potty training.

I started hot yoga. It took 3 classes before I was able to make it through an entire class. It's still gruelling and I didn't make it through today's class because I didn't get enough sleep last night, but it's been amazing. My achy body is a lot less achy after the yoga class and it's even better if I can get out more often. I go to the early yoga classes, so if I'm awake at 5am, I'll head in. I'm feeling better about my body and it's looking better.. Or maybe that's just my perception.

Even on the best of days, I don't like the class. The heat is terrible, the humidity makes you sweat even when you're lying down doing nothing except trying to take your mind off the heat. There are moments of panic as I lie there, before the class starts, when I just want to escape the heat. I don't like heat but I'm learning to tolerate it better. I have a keen sense of smell, which isn't so good when there's a roomful of people in 36 degree temperatures. But once the class starts, I'm in such discomfort that I forget about the heat and hardly notice the stench that makes me feel like gagging. On a good day, my mind can stay with the class and I get a good physical work out. On bad days, I get a great mental workout as I try to stay with the poses and try to not let my mind get overly negative. It's interestig to say the least.

The nanny is working out well. The worst part so far, has been when my daughter got hurt and went to the nanny instead of me. It was bound to happen and just means that she's doing a great job caring for and caing about them.

My job is a little uncertain. We will have to wait and see what happens. No updates just yet. I had another one of those, "We hate your employer" moment when I met my friend's finace's family. Whatever.. All corporations suck, but I do what I can.

Other than that, all has been well.. I have a charmed life and everything just works out somehow.

Books

I tried the "Spent" book, but I didn't like the greens powder and I hated the whey powder. My taste buds are a little sensitive. Oh well.

On to the next book.. actually, a return to a previous book. "The Power of Now". I had started reading it and enjoyed it, but thought my husband could use it, so I let him read it first. The book was read a little and then neglected, so here I am. Picking it up again.

I feel like I need something. My group was physically moved during my leave and I am not enjoying my new environment. There are stories of teenagers targetting people who work in the same company that I do. I'm hearing a lot about muggings in every direction. It's gotten me worried.

I've been having a lot of headaches since my return to work. The new environment, the loss of closeness within my team, the muggings, the lack of safe parking, the women on the bus who bathe themselves in perfume... and too much sugar from the stress..not a good combination.

I hope that everything calms down soon. I can't take the headaches much longer. I've got a bunch of Tylenol3's sitting in my drawer at work, in case the headaches get severe. So far, my cocktail of advil and Tylenol seem to be holding things together. Thank goodness I have a nanny. There have been a couple of days where I've come home with a raging headache and all I can do is say hi to the kids and then take a nap.

The first week, I took 3 naps. The second week, 2 naps. Hopefully this next week will result in 1 or no naps. Hopefully.

The good news is that I can ride my bike. There's a small section that feels treacherous, but the majority of the ride is nice. Lots of hills, so it's relaxing in a different way.

Legalize drugs.. all of 'em

My husband and I were having a discussion regarding the number of murders that have been happening in the metro Vancouver area. It sounds like they're gang related. Most citizens are tired of the deaths and innocent casualties. The question becomes, how can we disable gangs? The answer: cut off their source of income, legalize drugs. All of them. Not just marijuana -- which most people believe should be legalized. I'm talking heroin, crack cocaine, meth.. all of them.

Who benefits from drugs being illegal? Gangs, other organized crime, and other people who selling or producing the drugs. Because it's so lucrative, organized crime is likely to get involved if Joe Average starts producing drugs in any significant amount.

Who hurts from drugs being illegal? Those who use the drugs. Who are they? There are the recreational users and then there are the addicts. Not much I can say about recreational users. If it's not affecting their lives, then what's the harm? On the other hand, there are the addicts. I've never been an addict, but I understand the desire to escape, especially when you're faced with something you don't know how to handle.

It seems like if people are looking for an escape, they should be allowed to have it. There's a legalization program in Switzerland and the Netherlands where they make heroin available to those who are need it. When this happened, the "addicts" were able to maintain their lives. They also offer psychiatry and social workers services. The needles and paraphernalia were kept in the clinic where the heroin was provided by nurses.

Initially, when we were discussing this, the foremost thought in my mind was, "What if my son experiments with it as a teen and gets addicted?" The answer is, "So what?" If he did get addicted, then he'd be able to access the drugs that his body needs and it would be up to my husband and I to address the reasons behind his addiction. If you think your life sucks, then you should change it. If everyone was striving to live the best lives they could, we wouldn't have drug addiction because there wouldn't be anything to escape.

When I took a lower level Criminology class in university, I was surprised to find that opiates were made illegal because of the gold rush in BC. Opiates was imported by the Chinese and it was felt that the Chinese had an unfair advantage.

Making drugs illegal only drives up the costs of policing the poor. It's silly. Make it legal, make it available at Safeway. Instead of trying to control the symptom of people living unhappy lives, we should address the root cause. That would be a much bigger challenge, but this world would be a better place if we were helping our fellow humans lead happier lives.

Sibling rivalry

My daughter has started crawling forward. She's mobile and a little explorer. It's wonderful.. except that she's getting into more toys and my son is not pleased with this development.

I've had to start punishing him (with 30 second time-outs in the corner) because he started pushing her over. The first day I started this, he must have pushed her 8 times before he stopped. Since then, he's stopped pushing her, for the most part. He still does it occasionally. He is snatching toys away from her, screaming, "Noooo!", and throwing the toy across the room.

A part of me thinks that I should intervene as little as possible because I want these two to develop a friendship, but it feels wrong because my daughter is so young. There are toys that are "his" and that I don't allow her to play with (when he's in the room). I'm also trying to instill in him the concept of toys that are exclusively hers and that he shouldn't be playing with. That's a difficult concept for a 2 year old to grasp.

Well.. the toys are in front of me, so I guess he needs some attention.

Octo-mom

Just fresh from watching a bunch of interviews with the octo-mom. What I find that really sucks in this society is how we coddle people. She had 6 kids alone, hasn't worked for the last 10 years, living off the dole.. and then wanted to have another one?!! I say let her figure it out for herself!

As for the children.. give me a break. There are so many children in this world who fall between the cracks, at least hers have media coverage and a fighting chance. And really.. do we *really* want to help her propagate her genes?

I've got kids of my own, so I feel for the children.. but she should not be allowed to benefit from her own stupidity.

She says that she wants to write a book?! C'mon people.. do you really want to take advice from someone who's caring for 14 children under 8? Not me. I found out enough about Ms. Octo-mom and I hope that people DON'T help her so that (perhaps for the first time in her life) she'll be held accountable for her own actions. But think about the kids? If people help her, then she's just going to have more kids and take more advantage of people's generosity. It's never going to stop.

One question that raises in my mind is the expense of IVF. If she hasn't been working for the last 10 years and has 6 mouths that she can't feed and needs to accept food stamps, how was she able to afford invitro? Seems like poor money management skills.. to the extent that she's using available funds for herself rather than for her existing children. Another reason to not help her. Let the state take away her children and let them find homes for her children. And if she has more, let those be taken at the hospital because she's not capable of caring for them.

This society seems to cater to those who live irresponsibly and then turn around and ask for a handout. Why are we rewarding those type of people? Wouldn't it be better to help people who are really trying and doing things responsibly?

Multivitamins

Recently, a study was done on seniors and found that taking multivitamins did nothing to improve health. I had always wondered about whether our bodies can actually use vitamins that have been extracted from their natural source or man made.

I suspect that having apple juice gets us no vitamin C--unless it's freshly juiced. We do funky stuff to our food. Did you know that half a grapefruit contains all the vitamin c you need in a day? On the other hand, a 300mL bottle of grapefruit juice contains no vitamin c. What the heck did we do to that poor grapefruit?

Then when you consider all the vitamin no-no's that people don't tell you. Did you know that iron and vitamin c shouldn't mix? Same with calcium and vitamin c. But multivitamins contain them side by side by side. Who knows what the benefits are. Or if there are any.

Best site ever

http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf576594.tip.html

That's the best site ever in terms of information for skunk smell removal. Let's just say that there's at least one that's set up a den under our front steps (concrete steps.. it dug under it). I wasn't in a huge panic to get rid of the skunk because I didn't think it would spray near its home. It was a nuisance to be afraid of taking the garbage out.. We didn't have a confirmed sighting of the skunk until the night before last.

But now that I've read more about skunks (more than I've ever wanted to know).. the female will sometimes spray a male if she's not interested. I suspect this is what happened.

Now the problem is the smell in the house. I don't know how to get rid of it. I'm trying lots of different things, but the smell is coming from the front of the house, under the front steps.. likely inside the skunk's den. I think it's seeping in through the walls.

So this is what I've done. I've put out bowls of vinegar, I'm burning scented candles, I'm boiling coffee, I'm baking coffee grounds and cinnamon in the oven at 250, I've got all the windows open, I've got a fan going. I'm very, very sensitive to smell so the only reason why I haven't run from the house screaming is a pair of swimmer's nose plugs (while sitting next to an open window). Thank goodness. Before I thought of the nose plugs, I was shaking from the smell. I had sat myself and my infant daughter beside an open window. It's pretty cold outside.. close to freezing.

Strangely enough, my husband doesn't seem to be too affected by the smell. I wish that I didn't have my super olfactory senses. It's good for detecting spoilt milk better than anyone I know, but this is ridiculous.

What am I doing about the skunk? Previously, we put mothballs in the den and the skunks left. My husband got some heavy wire to block off the opening and covered it all with lots of gravel. That was the one side that was easily accessible. The other side, he put gravel down it, but it was difficult because of the roots of a bush. I thought that would be enough. At the time, it was the middle of winter and my husband asked if he should pour concrete down it. It was very cold, so I told him not to and that we could do it in the spring. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb!

So that's our plan. As soon as they/it leaves, we will pour concrete down the side. Might also dig up the other side and pour concrete down that side, too. I don't know. I don't want to have to go through this again.

It's so bad that my plans are to go live with my sister temporarily. This will be a huge pain because it will mess up both my kids' sleep. I don't know. Maybe the house just needs a day to air-out.

I'll be heading to the store to pick up some vapor-rub to put under my nose. I can't live like this.

So in love

I'm so in love with my son. He's adorable. I could do without the night time wakings and the tantrums, but he's just the sweetest little boy. After a tantrum, he'll seek you out for an extended hug. Same with the night time wakings. And I gotta tell you, he gives the best hugs in the world. There's something about the strength of the little arms holding your neck that's the most precious feeling in the world. And then there's the funny little things that he does. If you've got your face cuddling his head and you lift your head before he's done with his hug, he'll pull your face down.

It's a pure, innocent love that's simply intoxicating.

Even the times when he's not cooperating, it's very cute. You can almost see his toddler mind working. There is no malice, no negativity behind his intentions. He wants to play, he wants to laugh, he wants to feel loved, he wants to feel important, he wants to feel independent. It's all very sweet and endearing.

I'm shocking myself with this sudden change in attitude. Previously, I found his tantrums exhausting. I'm not sure what's happened, but for the last 24 hours, I've felt nothing but love for the little guy. Maybe it's baby-sitting my niece that's changed things. He used to get irritable starting around 4 or 5 in the early evening, but we've been picking up my niece from daycare at that time and the two of them have a blast until it's time to go to bed.

Maybe it's because I see him interact with her. He's totally in love with her. He'll share everything with her. He follows her around and imitates her. She, being older and wiser, tries to "teach" him things. Mostly, she'll read to him and point out the names of items and tries to get him to repeat after her. She also goads him into doing things that he shouldn't. It's sweet watching them play.

Terrible two's aren't so terrible

Tonight, I saw a side of two year old's that make them far from terrible. Okay, they've got those tantrums and they're impossible to reason with. The other day, my son threw a tantrum because he couldn't defy gravity. What can you do about that one?

As a 2 year old, my son's intentions are completely pure. His motives are clear, for the most part.

Unfortunately, my 7 month old has bed time needs that I can't ignore anymore.. so perhaps I'll post more on this later.

More sleep training

I went and tried the sleep training again. This time, it worked better. Last night, she was put to bed at 8 and woke at 10 and midnight. Then she slept until 7:30, when my son woke her. Unfortunately, my son woke up at 1 and I didn't get back to sleep until 2am, but I still got a nice 5 1/2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And I got to do a bit of reading... something that I've missed since she was born.

Today, we're sticking around home because both kids have colds and it's snowing. I didn't feel like working so hard to get them out. What's the etiquette when your kids have colds, anyway? Do you still take them out? My kids got their colds from someone who didn't keep their kids at home.. so I keep them home for a week until they're better and then go out for 3 days (how long it takes for symptoms to appear) and repeat?

They've got runny noses and my son has a mild cough in the evenings. No fever, no crazy green stuff coming out of his nose. Just clear runny noses. No changes in behavior. They're both still active and eating well. I'm not that worried about them when other kids around them are sick. It seems like if you keep kids home when they're sick, you're going to be home a lot. Kids are constantly sick, right? I had taken them out yesterday to a parenting group and (maybe it was my guilty conscious, but) it felt like the person doing childcare wasn't impressed. It was probably me feeling guilty. What childcare person doesn't accept the fact that children are sick for most of the time? They're kids. They share toys, they touch their faces, they eat from each other's plates.

Sleep training

We tried the sleep training, but it was a disaster. We held strong and she eventually fell asleep in her crib. And woke an hour later. Again, we did the same thing. Again, she work after an hour. By this time, 4 hours had passed and I was getting really tired. I also felt really bad because we were sleep training her at 6 months, whereas we didn't sleep train my son until he was over a year old. So after she woke again, I just took her to bed with me.

When we used sleep training on my son, it wasn't so bad. He was over a year old and no longer nursing. Both my husband and I were tired of having him sleep with us because he would kick us throughout the night. So we were all ready to have him move to a crib. He cried a lot of the first night, but by the third night, he had accepted that the crib was the place where he'd be sleeping. It's been fairly smooth ever since.

With my daughter, there are a number of issues. She's just over 6 months, so she's still quite young. She's still nursing. She's getting better at eating solids, but it will be a while before she derives a majority of her calories from solids. She's very attached to her soother. And she's got a cold right now. And I hadn't realized that she had a cold, so I got her immunized, so she's suffering from a fever, too. It doesn't sound like now would be a good time to start the sleep training. While I'd really like to get a full nights' sleep, I'm not convinced that I'll get that even if she were sleep trained.

Last night was worse than usual. I went to bed with her at 11pm. She had been napping in her crib. At 1am, my son woke up and was crying. Soothing him took about 30 minutes. Then, another 15 minutes to sooth my daughter back to sleep. I lost track of time at this point because I was so tired, but I woke up another 2 or 3 times between 2-6am. At 6am, my son and my niece woke up and were running around the house. My sister slept over, so she entertained the two older kids and I woke up an hour later at 7. Wow.. that's not a lot of sleep.

Attachment

It's been very different this time around. My second child is much more attached to me than my first ever was. I'm not sure if it's a boy/girl or firstborn/subsequent child thing. On the one hand, it's provided me with a level of baby adoration that I never had with my first. Sorry, you can't be ga-ga over a baby when it hurts every time you feed the little dear. Even then, I still have fond memories of my son.

So my little one is 6 months old. She doesn't seem too interested in solids so I've been trying, but I haven't been pushing it. I only weigh her when she gets her immunization or when she goes to see a doctor, so I'm not exactly sure how much she weighs. My arm/shoulder hurts more than it did a month ago, so I suspect that she's putting on weight just fine.

I had been considering sleep-training her before Christmas. My husband felt bad for my son because he's the only one who has to sleep alone and he didn't want my son to feel like he's been singled out. As well, we only have the 2 bedrooms on the main floor, so my daughter's crib is out in the living room. The plan is that we'll sleep train her in the living room and once she's sleeping most of the night, we'll move her into the room with her brother.

When we used sleep training on my son, the situation was pretty intense. He was sleeping with us and would wake up every 3 hours to kick someone, not intentionally, but it still hurts to get kicked. Not only that, but he insisted on sleeping on people.. his father in particular. So that's how we slept for over a year. My husband finally had enough and decided to sleep train my son. It wasn't bad. The first night was bad, but after that it's been fine. Even when we moved him to a toddler bed, he was fine. He was definitely ready to sleep on his own when we started the sleep training.

My daughter is a different story. She's 6 months and seems so small. She's so attached to me and I'm not sure whether I'm ready to risk losing that attachment. She's never slept very well on her own. Some nights, I'm ready to sleep train her, but other nights, it's not so bad. I know that if I wait until I reach the end of my rope, that's likely not going to happen. My daughter lets me sleep 4-5 hours at a stretch if I'm with her. That's enough sleep to keep me going and not drive me insane.

Postpartum depression

I went through (am going through) some mild postpartum depression. I suspect that many mom's go through it, too, but perhaps don't recognize the symptoms. I was lucky enough to have someone tell me a bit about it and to admit that she went through it, so I was more open to admitting that I had the symptoms.

I went to a drop-in today and another mom (who I had been acquainted with during my previous maternity leave) was going through something similar. It's nice to have someone to talk to.. even if you don't get any solutions or plans-of-action. It's nice to know that you're not completely alone.

For me, the PPD partially stems from a feeling of distance between me and my husband. Another part was the lack of sleep and lack of exercise. And of course, top all of this with feelings of isolation. But, like network troubleshooting, finding out what the problem is more than half the work. When stigma is added to the mix, people tend to brush off their feelings instead of dealing with them.